Joke time!

 

Joke time

 

Joke time

 

                          

The psychiatrist was asking questions to test his patient:

-Do you ever hear voices without knowing who is speaking, or where the voices are coming from?
-Yes, sir, I do.
-And when does this occur?
-When I answer the telephone.


(psychiatrist = ψυχίατρος, patient = ασθενής, voices = φωνές,
occurs = συμβαίνει)

A patient is talking to a doctor :
-Doc, I'm suffering from amnesia.
-How long have you had it?
-Had what?

(patient=ασθενής, suffer= υποφέρω, amnesia= αμνησία, how long?= πόσον καιρό;)

A teacher is talking to the father of one of his pupils:

-Sir, I've asked you to come because I've discovered that your son cheats in the tests.
-That's impossible! My son, Peter does not copy anyone else's work. I am sure you are mistaken, if you will pardon my saying so.
-May I show you proof so that we can both be sure? For example, here is a history test; the answers are copied from the paper of his friend David. Look at the first answer on both papers.
The question was: Who came after Napoleon? David's answer is: Louis XVIII; Peter's answer is also : Louis XVIII. 
- Aha! But it was Louis XVIII.
- That is true, but look at the second answer. The question was : Where did Napoleon achieve his greatest victory? David's answer is:  London; Peter's answer is also : London.
- Yes, I see them both ... but that's purely coincidence. It's not sufficient proof to accuse my son of copying!
-Ahh, but wait, sir, until you see the third answer, The question was: Where did Napoleon die? David's answer is : I don't know, and Peter's answer: Neither do I.

(discover = ανακαλύπτω, cheat in the test = κλέβω στο τεστ, 
you are mistaken =  κάνετε λάθος, proof = απόδειξη, achieve = κατορθώνω, victory = νίκη,  both = και τα δυο, purely coincidence = απλώς σύμπτωση, sufficient = επαρκής, accuse =  κατηγορώ,

neither do I = ούτε κι εγώ ) 

Peter and Paul are talking:

-What are you doing?

- I'm writing a letter to my sister.

-Why are you writing so slowly?

- Because she can't read very fast.

A boy is talking to his little brother:
 -I know what you are going to say next!
 - What?
 -See? I knew you'd say ''What''?

A mother is scolding her son:

-Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share your bicycle with you.

-But, Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill and he rides it up the hill.

 (scold = επιπλήττω / μαλώνω, selfish = εγωιστής)

The teacher is asking an arithmetic question:

- Frank, if you found three dollars in your right pocket and two 

dollars in your left pocket, what would you have?

- I'd have somebody else's pants on.

(pocket = τσέπη, pants = παντελόνι)

A doctor had an urgent call.
- Can you come immediately, doctor? My son has just swallowed a fountain pen.
- I'll be there right away. What are you doing in the meantime?
-  Oh, I'm using a pencil.


(urgent call = επείγον τηλεφώνημα, swallow = καταπίνω, in the meantime = στο μεταξύ)